It's all about me

I'm on my way to being 32 years old Jan. 3rd. No kids, have my own place, been on my job 9 1/2 years, got a vehicle. Very independent. Told endlessly that I'm beautiful. Thanks... ;-) Very spiritual w/ GOD in my life. Seeking to attend nursing school soon. I'ma obligated STAR. I'ma servant of GOD. Currently on a spirital walk w/ HIM. I'm seeking spiritual growth. As I want to minister to people. I was ordained a Deaconess on May 28, 2006. I date but I'm celibate. STOP right there: For those reading this is not a woman seeking man advertisement. None of that here. I'm simply giving my background so you can see where I'm coming from.

You've read my background not woman seeking man advertisement. lol... Guys question why a woman with so much going on for herself could be single. Heck I wonder 2. Well firstly I don't have tolerance for bullsh*t. My last relationship was 4 years ago and it was my longest (3 years). Once a cheat always a cheat there's no second chance. That last relationship taught me a lot. Including forgiving. Yes I wrote ole girl 4 years later while she was locked up in prison to let her know she was forgiven for helping ruin a 3 year relationship. And I thanked her for taking him away. Because I almost married the nut. whew glad I didn't. Forgiveness is part of the healing process. I learned that GOD places people in our life for different reasons. The turn out whether good or bad will strengthen you. Separating from Gerald in 2004 allowed me to be free. That's when GOD spoke to me.

So GOD called me. I heard HIM but didn't quite listen. HE called my name again louder. QUIANA. I heard HIM loud and clear in 2005. I heard my calling to go into ministry. I was ordained as a Deaconess of a south side Church. I was physically present but not spiritually ready. I was still satisfying the flesh. I wasn't ready. NOPE sure wasn't. I did my own thang. I just wasn't ready. That was it. I resigned as Deaconess. Yet my soul was hungering for spiritual growth. Whew 2006 was a crazy year. See when GOD tells you to do something ya better do it. The story of Jonah and the whale is among several examples of history if you disobey GOD.

You can't run or hide from GOD. HE knows what you will do before you think or do it. The year 2006 was rough. My father died Sept. 5th and my stepfather died Sept. 21st (mothers 2nd husband). I was having financial problems, landlord problems. Problems problems problems. satan was attacking me left and right. Why did I abandon my duties from GOD. I felt alone. Confused and lost. Humpf... I read my bible but didn't comprehend what I was reading. November 2006 life was getting lil better. An associate introduced me to the order of eastern. A STAR was born. I was a sistar. I was always curious about the order. I never knew any stars before my big debut. I only knew squares. I knew my sister boyfriend was a mason. I went to him. He asked me why did I want to join? Heck I didn't know. Until I knew I had to wait. Another square years later said read Matthew 7. Ask, seek, knock. I didn't understand @ first but now I understand what both were talking about. That was the beginning of my walk in the light.